Divorce expert reveals signs a marriage might be in trouble including 'intimacy fading'

Marriage isn't easy and it's not always "until death do us part". It is estimated that 42 per cent of marriages end in divorce.

But it's not all doom and gloom, divorce rates in the UK have actually been declining. The Office for National Statistics report that the 2022 rate was the lowest since 1971.

There are a few signs though that couples can be aware of to get on top of before it all really starts to go south. Getting ahead of these issues can make all the difference in the longevity of our holy matrimony.

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On that thought, a divorce expert has revealed the early signs a marriage may be in trouble - and what to do about it. Every relationship goes through rocky patches but it’s how partners respond to them that makes the difference, according to James Brien of

The conflict expert and author on divorce says there’s six red flags that may indicate trouble is afoot.

Communication breaks down

Mr Brien, who penned ‘The Real Man’s Guide to Divorce’ and ‘The Mindful Divorce: How to Heal and be Happy After Separation’, said: “One of the earliest signs of trouble is a breakdown in communication. If you’re no longer asking about each other’s days and listening to the responses then consider why that might be the case.

"A solid marriage is built on being able to open up and talk things through. When this starts to slide it’s a good idea to get things back on track quickly. Over time a lack of communication can mean you start to disconnect emotionally."

Warmth and love starts to fade

If your once warm, loving relationship has been swapped with resentment and sarcasm then this could be a sign of trouble, Mr Brien warns.

He said: “Often people in an unhappy relationship become emotionally disconnected and we see that healthy feelings such as warmth and love are replaced with more negative emotions.

“If there was once mutual respect and now there’s sarcasm and eye rolls every time you talk then it might be time to discuss your problems with a counsellor.”

Support is lacking

A true partnership means helping each other. This could be with practical tasks such as childcare or household chores, or it could mean emotional support.

Mr Brien said: “Couples need to feel as if their needs are being met. If you feel as if you’re picking up all of the chores while the other sits around doing nothing then this is where resentment can seep in.

“It’s important to be clear on feelings and discuss what you need to help the relationship thrive. Give your partner the time to act on this.”

Intimacy is fading

Being intimate doesn’t necessarily mean getting between the sheets.

Mr Brien said: “There’s no ‘normal’ for being intimate in a relationship. Holding hands and enjoying a cuddle on the sofa can be more intimate than other marital activities.

“It’s important to speak to your partner about your needs and re-establish a connection if it has been lost over time.”

You stop making plans

This doesn’t just mean where you’re going to spend this year, but big plans for years down the line.

Mr Brien said: “Happy couples will generally share aspirations for the future, whether this means big travel plans or retirement dreams.

“If you stop making plans together then consider if your future goals still match up.”

You dream about a new life

The occasional dreaming will do no harm but if you find yourself constantly wondering if you would fare better on your own then this isn’t healthy for a relationship.

Mr Brien said: “When problems arise in a marriage it can be tempting to look at other options.

“If you find yourself constantly thinking about what else might be on offer then that’s a strong sign things are going in the wrong direction.”

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